#(yes i am insane thank you for asking)

[emo-batboy]

Things Battinson Totally Did During His First Year of University

Using Unhinged or Odd Things I Also Did as a College Freshman :D

Note: for this list, let’s believe Bruce was living in an (admittedly expensive and swanky) dorm because it is required for first-years, especially those entering at a young age, and Alfred told him he needed to make friends. Also yes I did every single thing on this list. I never claimed to be a role model

Bruce, to his TA: I’m so sorry I’m late to class. I gave blood a few hours ago and almost fainted on the way here, but it won’t happen again.

Signs up for a class called “Age of Dinosaurs” despite it not being required whatsoever and proceeds to work his entire schedule around it

Bruce: Your mental health is super important. If you think you should see the on-campus therapist, go see them. Friend: Fine. I’ll sign up for therapy if you sign up for therapy too. Bruce: Hold on-

Finds a loophole in his housing contract that allows him to get a pet frog, calls him kermit :)

Gets a second frog because Kermit was lonely, names it Constantine after Muppets Most Wanted, then realizes that they’re gay for each other. Wonders if the rainbow-colored rocks he got them triggered anything

Swings dramatically between calling Alfred every single day and ghosting him for weeks, cries when he realizes what he did

“Accidentally” joins the student body council, doesn’t know what he’s doing, gets re-elected anyway

Molds a dragon out of Laffy Taffy instead of doing his work

Bruce: *joins Honors, gets all A’s, takes the max amount of classes, has several minors, overachieves* Also Bruce: I’m a failure.

Breaks into a building after hours to study because NO ONE KNOWS HOW TO SHUT THE FUCK UP AT THE LIBRARY

Bruce: I will not get seasonal depression this year. Bruce: *gets real and seasonal depression that year*

Meticulously schedules his day with a color-coded planner because if he sits down for too long, the thoughts will consume him

Gives a presentation to his rhetoric class on how much he likes Spider-Man: Into the Spiderverse (it is 20 minutes long)

Successfully allocates funding from the student body council to pay for free feminine products in the dorms OUT OF SPITE because someone said it couldn't be done. fuck you, Andrew

Bruce: It is not an all-nighter if I go to sleep before my first class. Friend: It is 7:30am, the sun is in the sky, and your first class is at 12:30. Bruce: But I am getting sleep.

Refuses to go anywhere without his backpack because what if he needs three notebooks at once

Loses over 20 pounds because ✨stress✨ and scares the shit out of Alfred when he comes home for Thanksgiving

Argues with his TA over the one (1) question he got wrong on his Dinosaur exam

Bruce, calling Alfred: Hello father figure. How do I do taxes? Do I have to do them myself? Also, I think I’m having a panic attack.

Joins in on a charity arts-and-crafts project that gives kids books with matching activities made by volunteers, proceeds to commandeer the project because “it’s not color-blind friendly” and rewrites the instructions for everyone

Makes a murder wall

Goes to one (1) sports game and proceeds to leave in the first ten minutes because it’s way too loud wtf is wrong with people

Professor, addressing the lecture hall: I dare you to write an essay about these two sentences. Bruce: *writes an essay about six words, gets a 100, never even read the book*

Crawls into the ceiling for some alone time

Ghosts someone after a date because he’s too scared to tell them he didn’t know it was a date in the first place and now he feels bad

Classmate: How tf does he walk across campus that fast? I go in the same direction he does on my bike, and he’s always ahead of me. Bruce: *is gay sprinting to Dinosaur class*

Refuses to let others use his Favorite Pen TM

Constantly gets mistaken for a Grad Student because he is “so wise and mature” (bestie, that’s the autism)

Alfred: *casually mentions he got into a car accident through text* Bruce: *replies with a meme while hyperventilating because he doesn’t know what to do with that information??!*

Wears a suit to one of his finals

Regularly eats non-organic food for the first time in his life, proceeds to learn about several allergies Alfred forgot to mention he has

Writes “What is a Hot Pocket?” in calligraphy and proceeds to laugh his ass off alone in his dorm because he is so exhausted he’s reached the point of delusion

Locks himself out of his dorm right before class, frantically asks the floor group chat if someone can help, proceeds to tell the nice gay man on the floor who saved him “I love you” because his social skills have hit rock bottom

Makes a little music album display next to his desk for his favorite band (Nirvana) His friends call it a shrine, and they are technically correct

Has a blacklist of people he refuses to interact with because Reasons

Counselor: What do you want to do when you graduate? Bruce: *gestures vaguely*

Refuses to take the bus because there are people in there and he doesn’t like those

Loses one of his frogs, how tf did he do that, they’re fully aquatic, oh fuck, this is probably why they got rid of that loophole a year later because unbeknownst to Bruce, he accidentally started a frog revolution in the dorms, btw he SWEARS he did not mean to do that

Has two trash cans in his room: one for the Good Garbage, and one for the Bad Garbage. Only Bruce knows which is which

Bruce: *writes a creative piece about a ship’s final thoughts as it sinks, bringing its passengers down with it* TA: Absolutely lovely, Bruce, but are you okay?

Goes on Night Walks, keeps himself safe by maintaining a level 12 resting bitch face at all times

Earns the nickname “8th floor cryptid” after pacing the halls at 3am when it’s too cold for Night Walks (honestly tho how tf didn’t he get the nickname earlier?)

Bruce: Do you think a depressed person could do this? Bruce: *has a manic episode*

Okay that's all love you BYE

[aevallare]

my ao3 wrapped, courtesy of the amazing beautiful kind showstopping wondrous @spicedrobot!

template under the cut! all credit to en!

[chvoswxtch]

I just wanted to say thank y’all for being so patient and lovely while I took a much needed mental vacation. I think I may have overexerted myself with that celebration (I did it to myself) and there was a lot going on personally that I need a break to deal with. also that retrograde was fucking insane and I think i’m entitled to financial compensation for emotional damages.

that being said…

ya girl found her mojo again and is back on her bullshit so here’s the drop schedule for this week >:)

monday: some matty comfort that was requested by my lovely @yarrystyleeza

wednesday: the next part of the bodyguard!frankie series (this is a shorter, more fun filler chapter bc it’s been a lil heavy lately)

friday: some absolutely feral matty spice

[annanother-thing]

new highest daily wordcount ever today!

[chenziee]

Rage

Last of my pieced for the @yamabrozine! Some Momo & Yamato with a liberal sprinkle of murder and a dash of blood... or is it the other way around?

Shout out to my beta once again for their immense help and support <3

!! WARNING: BLOOD, GORE, MURDER, DEATH, TORTURE, BLOOD KINK WORSHIP !!

[ Read on AO3 | Yamato zine fics ]

----------

I’m leaving Wano with Luffy and his friends tomorrow. I can’t believe the day is finally here! I’ve dreamt of leaving Onigashima, leaving this country, and seeing the world for so many years and now it’s finally happening!

I’m so excited but so nervous. My first real adventure… I can’t wait to see what the outside world has in store for me——————

BOOM!!

“What happened?!” 

“Where’s Momonosuke-sama?!”

Yamato looked up from his journal at the noise outside, ignoring the ugly smear his brush had made. He could hear people shouting and running all over the castle and he frowned. Did something happen to Momonosuke?

Quickly getting up from his seat, Yamato grabbed his kanabo and ran out of his room in search of some answers.

“What’s going on?!” he asked the first samurai who attempted to run past him, catching the man’s arm to stop him in his tracks. 

The samurai looked at him, his face twisted with panic. “Some remnants of the Beast Pirates attacked! We don’t know where Momonosuke-sama is!!”

At those words, Yamato’s grip on the samurai’s elbow loosened, his arm falling limply to his side as dread ran through him. If they caught the boy now, when he was exhausted after everything that happened during the battle, after he carried the whole of Onigashima to the ground, after the long post-battle celebrations…. He didn’t want to even think about it.

He didn’t want to think about it but even so, the images were flashing through his mind and the longer he stood there, the more his face twisted in anger—fury was licking at his insides, threatening to break out of his body; to burst through his skin and tear his flesh to shreds.

If anything happened to Momonosuke, there was going to be hell to pay.

—————

Yamato’s steps faltered until he froze completely at the entrance to the dimly lit Oden Shrine.

His vision went black as he stared at the body on the ground—unmoving. The face was hard to see in the shadows cast by the flickering light of the lanterns… but Yamato would recognise those deceivingly mature features anywhere.

There were several Beast Pirates surrounding Momonosuke’s adult body, breathing heavily with weapons in hands.

There was the scent of blood in the air.

A scent which was calling to the deepest parts of Yamato’s soul, the parts that had long become one with his devil fruit. The parts that were making him thirsty.

Yamato closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. He savoured the smell, let it swirl in his lungs and kindle the fire of anger burning brightly in his chest.

He exhaled slowly.

And his eyes snapped open.

Before he so much as moved, two of the Beast Pirates dropped to the ground, unconscious. Unable to stand up to his Supreme King haki. Pathetic. They wouldn’t even be worth fighting but they had touched what they shouldn’t have—whom they shouldn’t have. Tainted him, broke him right in front of Yamato’s eyes.

It didn’t matter if Momonosuke ended up being alright.

It didn’t matter if they didn’t hurt him past knocking him out.

None of it mattered.

Yamato wasn’t letting them walk out of there.

Another growl echoed around the shrine; this time louder, more menacing… but Yamato’s ears could barely make it out. It was his voice but it seemed foreign, coming from so far away… and he didn’t care. He only cared about the way his arms grew, the bones cracking and breaking before mending again and again, moving just below his skin; making the flesh rise and fall while the bones underneath grew larger, longer, stronger.

Yamato barely noticed the pain of the transformation; he ignored the rapidly healing fractures, the prickling of his skin as fur grew out, the ache from his teeth shifting and becoming sharper.

He could smell the blood even clearer now. It was making his mouth water.

His kanabo slipped out of his hand… and he let it fall. The heavy clang that resounded around the room when it hit the floor was the only cue he needed; he shot forward, towards the group of pirates frozen in fear at the sight of Yamato’s hybrid form.

It was so funny.

Did they really think they could get away with harming the Shogun of Wano? Did they really think they could do it quietly and then leave before anyone was the wiser, before anyone learned anything about it? Hilarious.

They should have known.

They should have known that Yamato would find them.

“Young master, wait!!” one of them cried.

Hah. Yamato’s lips curled into a sneer. How nice of this guy to volunteer.

Immediately, Yamato changed his course, leaping at the man who had spoken. Calling him his ‘young master’. As if Yamato had ever cared about that title, or any of his father’s men. He was glad to have this opportunity. Maybe he should thank them for their stupidity.

Yamato’s mouth fell open, exposing his razor sharp teeth. Teeth that were itching; tingling, aching, begging to sink into something. To sate this hunger, this thirst.

He didn’t fight the craving.

The man stumbled back at the impact, crashing to the ground under the weight of Yamato’s body but Yamato didn’t stop. The second his teeth closed around the poor bastard’s throat—

He bit down.

Thick, bitter liquid poured into his mouth at the same time as screams filled his ears. Delicious. Yamato gulped down the blood, savouring the rich taste on his tongue; he let the terrified voices envelop him like a sweet accompaniment to his feast.

The perfect setting.

He bit down harder, the body in his grasp going limp as consciousness slowly left his body. How weak Kaido’s men were. It didn’t even take two seconds. Oh, well.

Not easing his bite, Yamato put one of his beastly hands on the bastard’s face and pulled back—ripping his throat out.

Closing his eyes, he took a moment to relish in the feeling; in the warm, warm blood sliding down his throat, in the screams quieting down to pathetic whimpers. A music to his ears.

Only when a soft thump interrupted the beautiful, bloodcurdling melody did he crack his eyes open again. Slowly, his gaze slid towards the rest of the group of attackers, impassively looking at them one by one, his stare cold.

Finally spitting out the flesh between his teeth, Yamato slowly licked his mouth, his canine tongue reaching all the way up to his cheek. He could taste blood on his fur; warm, tasty, red blood.

He wondered what he looked like now. His fur stained with crimson, haki radiating off of him, freezing fury in his eyes. When he exhaled, he could see his breath; he was sure his horns were covered in frost by then too. 

Did he look like a demon right now?

Did he finally fit the ‘Ogre Princess’ title?

He hoped so.

He hoped they were shaking in fear at the very sight of him, regretting ever daring to even think about touching Momonosuke.

Who was going to be next? The first one had died too quickly; it was no fun. Yamato was going to take his time with the rest of them. He couldn’t wait to sink his teeth into their flesh, to shred their skin with his claws. Was it possible to scrape the meat off of a bone, tendon by tendon, fibre by fibre, vein by vein… while the person was conscious?

He was going to find out. 

“Which bones do you think the dogs in Okobore Town like best?” Yamato asked, the humidity in the air turning into ice crystals under his breath.

None of them answered his question. 

Not that Yamato cared; he was going to take one bone out of each of them and ask the dogs himself. But first…

“No running away, you boring maggots.” Yamato’s voice echoed around the shine, a deep rumble that promised nothing but pain.

THe maggots in question stopped their scrambling as tears glistened in their eyes, pathetic whimpers on their lips. Three were sitting on the ground after their legs had given out, two were still standing, all five trembling as they stared back at Yamato, frozen.

…funny thought, that one.

Yamato bared his teeth, a canine smile with no warmth or amusement. He took a deep breath, holding the air in his lungs for a moment before letting it go, freezing the ground of the entire shrine—except the area where Momonosuke was lying, unconscious—effectively keeping the poor bastards in place.

A dark smirk pulled on Yamato’s lips as they started shouting, screaming, panicking, tugging at their legs to try and get free of the thick layer of ice. As if they could.

As if Yamato would let them.

After all, there was nowhere to run without legs, right?

Yamato leaped forward, appearing right next to the closest pirate. Without hesitation, he pulled his arm back… then thrust down.

For a moment, there was silence; silence that was only interrupted by the cracking of ice—chipping, breaking, shattering. More and more, into tiny little pieces; glittering beautifully like fairy dust.

Red, deep red fairy dust.

And then, a scream tore through the shrine.

“My leg!! My leg’s fucking gone!!”

“Save me, please!!”

“I’m sorry, young master! Forgive me!!”

Ignoring the disgraceful crying, Yamato carefully studied the larger ice crystals on the floor. What a beautiful colour they were, like rubies or strawberry hard candy. He wondered; did it taste as delicious as it looked? Would it be as refreshing as a slice of watermelon on a hot summer day, the ice melting on his tongue while leaving behind chilly liquid? Or would it still be rich and smooth? Only one way to find out.

Yamato licked his mouth slowly. He reached out with his long arm, carefully picking up one of the fragments—then let his jaws fall open. Gently, almost gingerly, he placed the ice on his tongue, closing his eyes.

For a moment, he tasted nothing. The cold was numbing his tongue, making a shiver run down his spine. But after a moment, the heat of his mouth started chipping at the ice; bit by bit, drop by drop, atom by atom, it melted on his tongue, bursting with flavour.

Metallic, powerful flavour; smooth and deliciously chilly with pieces of meat like the pulp in freshly squeezed orange juice, and Yamato didn’t fíght the satisfied moan rumbling in his chest. It was better than he had imagined. He eagerly let it melt more and more, filling his mouth with the sweet taste of meat and blood.

He could smell it all around him now, the aroma that made his mouth water even more while he sucked on the frozen treat, letting it roll on his long tongue, savouring it. He tried to gulp down the liquid quickly gathering inside his mouth but some of it dribbled down from the corner of his lips, running down to his chin; a delicious contrast between his pristine white fur and the deep red trail sparkling in the flickering light.

Slowly opening his eyes, Yamato looked at the pirates lazily, one terrified face to the other. They looked so pathetic and Yamato almost felt bad about the slow, hungry smirk that pulled on his lips at the sight.

He wanted to tear them to shreds, to pieces so tiny no one would be able to tell they used to be human at some point—hearts crushed, eyes clawed out, throats bitten apart, vocal cords ripped out, wrists chewed through, legs shattered. 

Blood licked up, sating Yamato’s thirst.

Six lives snuffed out—by now, for no reason other than Yamato’s own amusement.

Was it wrong? Maybe.

Would Momonosuke hate him if he saw him like this? Definitely.

Did he care right then?

No.

These men’s lives were forfeit the moment they set foot in this sacred shrine of Oden. Whatever game Yamato played—it didn’t make a difference.

Momonosuke was still on the ground, his breathing shallow.

They had to pay for that.

Yamato took a step forward, his grin growing even more vicious. 

Who should he break next?

[t0tally-n0t-3m0]

I may have overreacted a little

The name Jonathan means 'God has given' while the surname Sims means 'He who hears' and I could write an essay on the importance of the name and how it connects to the plot of tma but I CANT because all Jonny did was PLAGIARIZE his FUCKING BIRTH CERTIFICATE

[aromothmantic]

NaNoWriMo's shaping up to be different this year bc I'm too lazy to commit to a whole new plot and outline (and as a planner I will regret this). But I do have constant whump brainrot, so the current strategy is to write as many scene/story ideas with Bad Things Happen Bingo tropes as I can and hope that the prompt hoard will sustain me through the month.

[dustykneed]

Picture this; Bones holding Joanna, rocking her to sleep and the part in Beautiful Boy where it’s like “The monster's gone, He's on the run, And your daddy's here” is playing. :,)

Fatherhood gives you certain... skills. Coincidentally, this is also how Jim finds out that Bones sings.

:'))

[elizabeth-dicewielder]

Incredible how soothing the sentence “Let ε>0” is to me

[rapidhighway]

I can't believe people give advice that's basically "be less stressed". How can I explain to you that I've been scared of walking down the stairs since I learned to walk and I get an intrusive thought every time I cross a road. And then I have a lot more, actually real and important stuff to be anxious about!!

[spacebubblehomebase]

Your stargazer au has taken my interest and I love the idea??? I'm excited to see more!

Thank you! I can't wait to make more of it so I can finally get others to freak out about the AU with me! XD Being alone in my delusions is driving me CRAZY lololol -Bubbly💙

[sillykitty9000]

THIS TOOK FOREVER BUT IT'S OKAY BECAUSE I LOVE HIM MORE THAN I LOVE MY SANITY

(Click for higher quality because Tumblr definitely compressed this one, ID in alt)

[featherymainffins]

Peace and love on planet Earth but if I see one more post NOT about recovery and, in fact, encouraging eating disorders in the ed recovery tag, I might just turn into a chimpanzee and tear everyone's faces off.

[favoriteblogonthecitadel]

I am a collapsing star with tunnel vision But only for you But only for you

[code31-onthedancefloor]

the miracle, the west, and the return.

[nachobsns]

hi i saw your ask to applesauce and i just wanted to say im so proud of you for pulling yourself out of the radicalization pipeline, that takes true strength and bravery

thank you :) it’s tough because those spaces are excellent at conditioning people who have no involvement with the conflict whatsoever into a very absolutist “you must be thinking and talking about this issue at all times, otherwise you are a Bad Person who supports Bad Things and deserves to Die” mindset but really any “peace activist” whose “solution” relies on the complete demonization and dehumanization of another group of people does not care about peace or activism at all and i’m much happier now that i’ve stopped giving antisemitic bullshit any sway over my life. obviously does not absolve me from the harm i caused by being a part of it but i’m glad that i no longer am